LIVING WITH HIVIAIDS AS A YOUNG AFRICAN WOMAN

Charlotte Mjele,
Hopeworldwide Jabavu Clinic,
Soweto, and the Society for Women and AIDS in Africa,
SWAA-South Africa.

Two years ago I was confronted with absorbing the news of being HIV infected. Being only 20 years old a fresh college graduate, and with an exciting job as a junior consultant with an employment agency it was certainly a great personal blow. Since then, I have been faced with many challenges as a single young women, with no child and open about my HIV status. From being devastated by the news of my HIV status, and having being overwhelmed with the thought of a future with no prospects, I went through a very rough time and traumatising emotional pain that also resulted in a lot of physical pain. However, death was not on my agenda. I was young, and knew deep down that I still wanted to live. I had to reason with myself, believing that God would not put me in a situation that I could not handle. Even so, the fear did not depart from me, I cried myself to sleep everyday, as the nightmare of not knowing exactly what this virus was going to do to me suffocated me every minute. Was I now going to be a statistic that was soon going to be numbered among the infected, sick, dying or dead. My main questions was : how was I really going to fight this battle and what was my family, relatives, friends, colleagues and friends going to say and think about me?. The thought of being stigmatised hit me very hard. Considering that in my family's eyes and those who've known me, I have been a good child and daughter and a young role model, looked up to by many.

HIV had no positive influence on my life, so I thought I was really devastated. When I started loosing my hair because of stress, it didn't make me look good. I then stopped for a moment and thought - " I have been seeing others showing themselves on TV and declaring their HIV positive and some have been alive for years and they still are looking good and healthy. If they have learned to accept their status, and have coped, I CAN TOO! I looked up places of help for People Living With HIV/AIDS. I joined HOPE Worldwide support group in Soweto, Johannesburg for women and men living with HIV. I gave myself a mission to learn more about my newly foud companion - HIV. For me it only made sense that if I can learn and understand more about HIV, I will definitely know how to move on with a normal life. As the days, weeks and months went by my knowledge increased and my fear decreased. Were these months easy - surely not, but I had to fight and move on. God did not allow this to happen to me because I was the worst person, but He allowed this to happen so I can bring out the best in me for myself and others in a similar situation. Learning about HIV enabled me take the next steps. I was now ready to claim back myself esteem and confidence. I knew this was a calling for me to make a difference not only in my life but in the lives of many other young women, men, girls, boys and children who are infected and affected by this epidemic. The time had come for me to break the silence. I knew it was not going to be easy to disclose my HIV status to my family, friends and the community. I asked myself many times - Charlotte do you really have to do this? HIV is so highly stigmatised in my society.

Recognising the need to fight stigma helped me make up my mind. I had to show and teach those who discriminated against people living with HIV/AIDS that it was simply their ignorance about HiV/AIDS that caused them to stigmatise HIV+ people. I wanted to show everyone that as a person living with HIV/AIDS, I and others are not VICTIMS. A victim is one with no control over the unfavourable circumstances in their lives. But this is not the way I see myself and others living with HIV/AIDS. Because even though we are infected with HIV we still have a choice and the resolve to lead a meaningful life, It is all a matter of the decision one takes.

After having educated my family about HIV/AIDS for over a year to try and prepare them to receive the news I had for them, I then disclosed to them. They were shocked, angry and sad. My parents felt like life had been unfair to them. But, when they started to see that I was still a happy young woman, with goals and dreams for even a better future they also learned to accept my status and decided to fellow my motto: "With HIV infection one can either allow it to be an obstacle to a truthful life ahead or use it as stepping stone to a determined and productive life"

When I started going public about my status I already knew people would discriminate against me but that did not bother me because I knew that the people who discriminated were the very ones who needed to be educated. It was obvious to me to that that depending on how I treated others and presented myself people will respond to me in a similar manner. If you treat yourself as a shameful HIV VICTIM others will be happy to treat you that way as well, but if you treat yourself as a positive ROLE MODEL they'll accept and respect you. I let people see and know that I'm not an HIV statistic, but a dynamic young woman full of life, and with dignity, who happen, to have HIV infection.

Today I stand here knowing for sure that not many young women and men or matured women and men have the courage to do what I'm doing. I made a conscious effort to be a leader in showing that an HIV diagnosis is not the end of ones life. Many in a similar situation would not even go out to learn and update themselves with information about this virus that is affecting us so much. Not many can stand the risk of being discriminated against. Many are still dying in fear and many are still in the VICTIM mindset. We need to help them make the transition from a victim to victor.

Fellow AFRICANS, our distinguished leaders and friends of Africa around the world present at this conference, our continent did not have to be devastated like this by HIV/AIDS. We should not have allowed it get to this stage and we therefore have the responsibility to reverse the situation.

My appeal today is this:

• To the leaders of our communities, the leaders of our countries yes something is being done about HIV/AIDS, but the problem far outstrips our current effects and solutions. We need a lot more action where it matters most - to reach young people, children at the grassroots, and to deal with poverty which is breeding HIV infection, fear, hopelessness and premature death.

• The poor in our communities, girls, boys, the young and matured women and men need to be empowered with knowledge on how to deal with the burden of HIV/ADS, and find the means to cope with poverty without putting themselves at the risk of HIV infection. We need to ensure that those infected and affected by HIV/AIDS are offered meaningful alternatives so that they can cope, and not die without dignity as many of them are now doing, Poor people have dignity, and value their lives like the rest of you. They should become empowered so that they can find solutions to the many problems affecting their lives, including HIV/AIDS,

• Leadership needs to play a major role in reversing the stigma attached to HIV/AIDS because no matter what we do as long as there are misconceptions, negative attitudes and beliefs about HIV/AIDS and those infected and affected, stigma will continue to take a strong root, and render our interventions ineffective.

• It is time many leaders in our communities and countries start to break the silence too and disclose their HIV status. If leaders In governments, private sector, churches and so forth urge their people to test for HIV, these leaders need to take that giant step first - it is called leading by example. The more we have more prominent men and women talk about their HIV status the better the chances of reducing stigma. I sincerely admire and honour noble men like Judge Edwin Cameron of South Afirica who did not let their high standing in society discourage them disclosing their HIV + status.

• The rights of people living with HIV/AIDS are violated without any sanctions. This offence needs to be taken seriously because if it is not dealt with, it will deter many positive people from making their contributions as frontline HIV/AIDS educators and counsellors.

• A major role still needs to be played by the leadership to make available affordable treatment for HIV infected pregnant women, and HIV related illnesses. Anti-retroviral treatment has proven to help many people's health improve - The life of an African with HIV should not be seen to be less than that of his or her counterpart in other parts of the world.

• The needs of young people, infected or affected should be given high priority. And, in this regard parents, school authorities, religious and community leaders and all stakeholders should ensure that young people have the information, skills, and resources to cope with the situation.

Finally, on behalf of the Society for women and AIDS in Africa (SWAA), and in particular the South Africa branch of SWAA of which I am a member, I will like to thank the organizers for the opportunity to share my experience at this  conference. Thank you all.